Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson

Friday, September 27, 2013

A little of Orrin's Story - Earth's Star



Those sent after Orrin make a grave mistake and take his wife, Telatha instead.  She is presented to Ystriel and he casts her aside in his anger.  He is told her husband - the true star point was killed when they attacked the farm.  Telatha ends up in slavery with no recollection of who she is or who she was.
When he finds her again she is in the company of a magical talking sword - another story in itself - and both are in trouble.  Orrin joins them, not telling her he knows who she is but offering to help them escape those that are hunting her down.  He suggests they pose as a married couple to maintain cover and hire on as guards to a caravan traveling over the pass. Telatha - after having gone through the years of slavery has no desire to pose as such and does not hesitate to inform him how she detests the idea.  He is patient with her, as patient as he always was with everyone.  The night before the caravan leaves she comes upon some information that changes her way of thinking in regards to the idea of posing as a married couple.
Thus we come to the excerpt I've chosen for you to read:

“You know,” she said quickly keeping him right beside her, “if we are to be married…in appearance, you know,” she cast a glance upward and caught him swallow hard at her words.  His face showed no emotion but his eyes told her everything, told her of a pain he feared and she might understand a little of that pained fear.
“Yes,” he agreed with a nod.  He searched her gaze, waiting for her to speak more of her thoughts.  She almost didn’t go on such was the intensity of his gaze and her loss within it.
She touched a hand to his chest.  “We’re going to have to make this look convincing,” she found words again.  They were probably not the most sweetest of words but they were words to tell him she consented to his idea, this way of protecting him.  She recalled the creature’s words regarding Orrin and his living.  She may not be the only one in danger.  She knew they wanted her alive.  What if they were sent to kill Orrin as well as capture her and Narn?  All three of them were in a great deal of danger.
“Yes,” he said and took her hand in his own, “we are.”  With his other arm he drew her closer to him.  She thought he’d kiss her and she knew the press of those lips against her own was certainly tempting enough.  “It will be difficult,” he mused and she felt the tingle of his lips just barely touching her own. 
“It might,” she agreed and lifted her gaze to try and hold his own, determined to see this through to protect all of them.
“I promise,” he said, “I’ll do my very best to make it convincing,” she felt his lips curl into a smile.
“And I’ll do the same,” she tried to sound strong but in truth she felt like mush in his arms.
“Will you?” He asked and closer still, without touching, he brought his lips.
“I will,” she said in barely a whisper.
“How far will you go?” He asked and now his lips touched hers.  “To prove…” he tasted first her top lip with his kiss and then his bottom lip, “…or convince?”
She didn’t know it but the next tremble that rippled through her was mistaken by him for fear.  He drew in a cool breath and leaned back to give her some space.  “We’ll start by sleeping together,” he said in a cooler tone and led her to the bed .  “Just sleep,” he assured her with a nod of his head.  “They’ll expect us to sleep close and they’ll expect an occasional stolen kiss despite our vow that business came before pleasure.”  He took another kiss just before gently setting her down on the bed.  He knelt then and slid his hand down one calf to remove her boot.  “We’ll be expected to know certain traits about each other.”  Her breath caught in her chest as his strong hands ever so gently removed her boot then moved over to the other leg.
“For example,” he continued, “you’ll be expected to know that I like my meat well done and…” he slid the other boot off her foot and placed a hand upon each of her knees.  His eyes moved up the length of her body removing any chill she might have still felt with his warm gaze.  “You’ll know I’m very fond of onions in my stew.”  He moved, didn’t really rise or stand but simply moved, to sit beside her.
“However,” he went on while he removed his own boots, “when we’re home…or when we were home,” he  said to explain why they were not the happy little home bodies many married couples should have been, “before times got tough and we returned to looking for work I liked your sweet bread the best of all your cooking.  But even as good as your sweet bread was, your gooseberry pies were to die for.”  He finished with his boots then turned to her, looped his arm around her waist and urged her to lay down beside him, both of them on their sides.  He drew her tightly against his chest.  “You’ll know that green is my favorite color because it brings out the fire in your eyes.  You’ll know…”
She waited for him to continue and when he did not she started to turn.  His hold tightened but remained gentle.  “You’ll know,” he went on and she could have sword she heard his voice crack, “you’ll know nothing can pull my heart from yours.”
She felt something inside her swell.  She thought she might be dying such was the aching force in her chest.  It was like she should know something.  No, it was more like her heart knew something she did not and it was mad with her brain for not remembering.  The ache left with a rush of a gasp leaving her lips. 
Orrin’s lips touched her ear once more.  “It will be all right, Tel.  I promise you.”